September 10th

Little By Little

Thankfully, life is still slowing down around here. This weekend wasn't busy at all and it left Husband and I with time to spend on ourselves, something which has been in short supply around these parts lately. On Saturday, Husband went to a football game with my father and my cousins. They seemed to enjoy it, in part because their team won which was in stark contrast to the baseball game Husband went to with my dad last weekend. Apparently, the football game made up for everything that went awry during that pitiful baseball game. While Husband was at the game, my mother and Sister and I went out to the Huntington Gardens and the Norton Simon Museum. The gardens are possibly the most beautiful gardens in the world and I love them every time we go. When my sisters and I were kids, my parents took us to the Huntington and took pictures of us running around in the vast expanses of grass, goofing off near the fountain, and standing next to statues. I look forward to repeating those times with my own children. Anyway, Mom wanted to explore a plant sale so Sister and I toured the gardens without her. We only went to the Rose Garden, the Children's Garden, and the Japanese Garden but I got plenty of good photographs and neither of us had seen the Children's Garden before, so a good time was had by all. Then we helped Mom carry a couple potted plants back to the car =) The museum was alot of fun as well.

On Sunday morning, Husband and I drove back to my parents' house for breakfast. After breakfast, we reviewed escrow instructions together and saw Sister off to her mid-day coffee date with her boyfriend. And then? That was it. We walked to the house we're buying, looked around and got excited, and then we drove home. We spent the afternoon cleaning - washing dishes, shredding papers, the like - and then we went to the park and walked around. It was a nice date, something we've not done in awhile, and it was great to just walk and talk and flirt.

Despite things slowing down in our lives, alot is changing as well. We are trying to pack things up to move and keep the area reasonably clean at the same time. I think that everyone who has ever moved can agree with us that this? Is an impossible feat. Part of the problem is, well, me. I am one of those people who is constantly in the middle of fifteen books and who always has at least a dozen small projects going on at once. And G-d save the soul who tampers with the location of a book or a project. It has been exceedingly difficult for me to pack these things up and maintain my sense of sanity at the same time. I know they will be unpacked shortly but suddenly it will occure to me at 10pm that I just don't remember the name of a character in some obscure book and it takes alot of willpower to not tear open boxes looking for that one book. It helps that I know that once I did find the book, I would forget what I was looking for in the first place. Anyway, suffice to say that I have been a hinderance =P

A month? Already?

It has been over a month since I've had the time or energy to post here or comment elsewhere and quite a bit has happened over the past few weeks. For one, Husband and I re-entered escrow with the house across the street from the house that fell through. We also adopted a kitten I named Anastacia. As of right now, a relative is housing the kitten until we have moved into the house, so we don't know how Anastacia will get along with our current cuddle-monkey cat, Sebastian. There have also been two significant deaths in my family - one relative each from my mother and my father's families. In fact, while my mother flew to Chicago for one funeral, my father and I flew to Seattle for the other. They were held on the same day.

Outside of this, that which has occurred has kept Husband and I busy, but is not really worth writing about. I spent a few days watching Husband's nieces and we went to the LA County Fair with his sister and her family. We also witnessed Husband's brother's graduation; he is now a police officer and thus fully capable of wrangling free goods out of any doughtnut shop along his beat. I actually do not know if he has a beat or what a beat really is, but it sounded good. Husband and I also helped his aunt move into a place which is decidedly closer to where we live (and will soon live) than her old home was. She will also save a fortune on transportation to and from work because now she lives so far away from work that she has to take the train and her company? Pays for the train tickets. So her commute is less because there is no traffic and her transportation is virtually free. How cool is that? There was the day of Husband's nephew turning four years old as well, and several days that we spent over at my parents' home when he worked outside with my dad and I chatted with my mom. And that? I think that about sums it up. Also, my parents celebrated their anniversary recently, we visited with Husband's cousin who visited from out of town, and we discovered that a close relative of Husband was diagnosed with diabetes which can, luckily, be controlled by diet.

In the month prior to that, my mother and I traveled to Illinois to celebrate the 100th birthday of my great-grandmother's sister. She passed away shortly thereafter, and so I think my mother and I were both pleased to have had the opportunity to visit with her one last time while she was alive. While in Illinois, we also devoted a day to walking around the Chicago Botanical Gardens, which were breathtaking. I cannot find the postcards I bought there to prove it, though, so Husband is just taking my word on that! Also, we celebrated my birthday and the birthdays of both of my sisters, and we found out that my half-brother will be performing a foreign exchange program wherein he leaves his home country and comes to live with my parents for the spring semester of this year. That should be alot of fun and I am looking forward to seeing him again.

This blog has always been a place for me to talk about my life today, right here and right now, so that I do not forget alot of what happens. I figure these are some of the most important times of my life as they are setting up my future, and I never want to forget them. It has taken me completely by surprise, however, to find that I rarely have the time to update. I will definitely start to focus on that more!

First Comes Love

Then comes marriage.

Then comes trooping down to the real estate agent's office
To make an offer on a home. Not a house. A home.

Luckily They Held Their Peace

Details Details

We are down to the final pre-wedding days. Last Saturday, my half-sister flew in from Switzerland and that's when everything really kicked off. Ever since, Fiance and I have been focused on last minute prep. On Saturday morning, we ran some errands and I had my dress picked up and my hair dry run done before picking up Half-Sister from the airport and afterwards we all had dinner at my parents' place. Earlier in the day, my family had picked up a cheesecake for Half-Sister because it is one of her favorite foods and cheesecake doesn't exist in Switzerland. On Sunday, we had a waffle breakfast with my family. Afterwards, Fiance jammed on the guitar with my dad for awhile and then went home to work on finalizing the reception playlist. Meanwhile, Mom and Sister and Half-Sister and I went shopping for shoes to go with Half-Sister's bridesmaid dress. That evening, we all met up again with Fiance at my cousin's house for a graduation party. Cousin graduated with her Bachelor degree earlier in the summer but then spent a month traveling around Australia so this was really the first chance they had for a party. Immediately following the party, Fiance and I drove to visit his sister to drop off the flower girl dress for her oldest daughter. It fit perfectly! =)

On Monday, I ran errands in the morning and then went to the Laguna Beach Sawdust Art Festival with Mom and Half-Sister. It was alot of fun and I think we all enjoyed looking around at all the art. We had lunch down the street at a second art festival and after wandering around that, we met Dad and Fiance back at my parents' house before driving over to the reception location for a final chat about how everything would play out. Once that was finished, Fiance and I drove around looking at local houses for sale a little bit and we all had steaks for dinner. Yesterday, Fiance and I both worked in the morning. I went to a movie later with Cousin's kids and Sister and Half-Sister and then Fiance and I met up and went to the photographer's for one last hoorah. Oh, and we also picked up our wedding bands.

And that takes us to today. So far, we have to stop by waste management to recycle an old computer monitor and to stop by Fiance's Brother's house to drop off his daughter's flower girl dress. We also need to buy a couple frames, tidy the apartment before Fiance's friend drives in Friday night, and drop off a few sweaters of mine at the dry cleaners'. Tomorrow, my uncles and my grandparents arrive from out of state. It's going to just get busier from here until the wedding this weekend!! =)

The Action-Packed Week

I wish I had time to update this properly because I don't want to forget this time in my life, but it seems like every spare second is devoted to...something. Anything. Everything under the sun that is not blogging.

Fiance and I spent Independence Day with his brother's family. Fiance's brother lives on a lake so we drove out in the morning and left just before the fireworks. Last year, we stayed for the fireworks but this year we were both tired and I needed to be up early for work the next morning so we missed them. Next year, I'll make sure that I'm not working the 5th of July!

We also celebrated my mother's birthday last week - and just as I wrote this sentence I realized that today is Fiance's mother's birthday and DAMN IT can you believe that I forgot to mail her birthday card?! - which was nice. We all had dinner together and then we had cake and she opened her gifts. It was nothing spectacular, but it was special =)

Last Friday, I spent the day hanging out with Fiance's sister-in-law. The plan had been to help her out with some house-chores and to scrapbook with Niece. But when I got there it was so hot that her candles were melting inside the house so we ended up sitting around talking and playing with the baby. And taking pictures. And having lunch out. And things like that.

Saturday was a busy day. In the morning I had a dress tailoring. I went straight from that to my bridal shower which was alot of fun and filled with everything from lingerie to dishes to cookbooks. I wish I had more pictures but I'm sure that once I beg everyone in my life for theirs that it will turn out alright. After the bridal shower, I drove to my parents' house where Fiance and Dad had been hanging out together (outside of their excursion to see a movie and drink beer) to drop off some dress accessories and pick up Fiance.

Yesterday was busy too. I picked up the rest of the bridal shower gifts from the shower hostess after Fiance and I went out to breakfast. Then we checked out announcement papers, thank you notecards for the shower and the bachelorette party, and the wine-and-cheese party, and the wedding, along with flower girl dresses and shoes and headbands and the like. Yes, run-on sentences are my friends when I'm busy.

Oh and last week was also our engagement portrait sitting session which meant that a couple of days later we received the proofs in the mail. Today I spent my lunch break calling various vendors - including the photographer - to schedule about five million appointments for Thursday when I'll be done working early - probably around 2pm or so. YAY!

That's all. That's it. That's the end.

This wedding hasn't been very stressful. Some people keep saying that I seem stressed but I keep thinking about some other very stressful times in my life - like attack after attack with my Crohn's last summer - and I've decided that many people in my life just assume that I'm stressed when I'm not. Last summer, I was stressed. I thought there was something seriously wrong and there were nights when I would lay down and wish I would die so the pain would end and then I would wake up an hour later spasming and puking and wondering if I weren't well on my way to dying. Last summer there were days when I was positive it might be my last, and there were moments when I honestly thought that if one more person breathed within five miles of me that I would have to take a hatchet to them. I was stressed and jumpy and anxious. And people in my life then never said I seemed stressed, when I was going through what was easily the most stressful period of my life yet. But this wedding? A piece of cake. So I just don't understand why people now are saying I seem stressed. Maybe they just expect it so they think they see signs of stress? The only day that has been even remotely stressful was Saturday and that wasn't stressful because of anything particular, I just felt guilty about being late.

Oh, and a car ran a light at about 50mph in a 35mph zone and literally missed me by inches, let's not forget that part of Saturday morning. That scared the shit out of me.

But anyway, that's it. I've got more busy-ness ahead, so I'll write later. Much later. In fact, I may not properly update this thing until after the wedding when I have more time. Which reminds me, I should clarify that half of my busy-ness has nothing to do with hanging out with family or with making wedding plans. Nope. I'm reading through a series of books so that I can return them to the woman who lent them to me and they are Time-Consuming. Trust me.

A List in Paragraph Form

As the wedding draws closer, I am ever thankful that Fiance and I made the decision early on to keep everything as simple as possible. Nothing about this planning process has been difficult or time consuming, and almost all facets of the wedding have fallen into place with little effort and no explanation. It has been wonderful.

We have, however, been busy. A few weekends ago, Fiance's mother told him that his aunt's birthday was coming up. I like Fiance's aunt so I bought a birthday card, sent it, and then asked Fiance if we could do something to celebrate with her. Fiance agreed and called his sister and made arrangements. Last Sunday, Fiance and I followed his sister and her kids up to Fiance's aunt's place. We hung out, went to lunch, hung out some more, and then drove home. It was a nice day and I hope that Fiance's aunt had a happy birthday.

Then, Fiance and I spent most of this last weekend at my parents. On Saturday, we helped garden for the first half of the day and then we left just shy of dinner time after walking around the neighborhood and hanging out with Mom and Sister. Yesterday morning, Mom called to let me know that Neighbor Family had an emergency so she wouldn't need us to garden because she'd be watching the kids. We drove over to the house anyway and spent the morning running down the street with the kids and then playing hide and seek. It was incredibly hot and I was very tired afterward but I got a couple good photographs out of it =) Yesterday afternoon, some of our plans fell through so we saw "Ocean's 13" instead. Halfway through the film, the lights came on in the theater and a loudspeaker announced that an emergency had been reported. We all filed out the exits at the bottom and then walked around the outside and, when it turned out to be a false alarm, we were re-admitted to find that they started the film again - without us in the theater. It was interesting, to say the least.

Today we have a wedding-related appointment at 3pm not too far from home. On the way home, we are buying birthday cards and gifts for my mother and his mother since their birthdays are Thursday and next Monday, respectively. And this evening, I am sorting out photographs for the family (and hopefully this time I will not crash Fiance's hard disk...) and Fiance has some work to do. Tomorrow, Sister flies home from her nannying gig in Spain. We are spending Independence Day with Fiance's brother, who lives on a lake, and then hoping to celebrate Mom's birthday with her Thursday night. This weekend is my dress fitting and the wedding shower. The weekend after that is my bachelorette party, Fiance's bachelor party, and a lingerie shower. The weekend after that Half-Sister flies into town from Switzerland and tries on her bridesmaid dress for the first time - hopefully it fits!! And the weekend after that, Fiance and I get hitched =)

Nothing too exciting, but that is where my life stands right now.

Father's Day: So Not Over-rated

When I was a kid, we had a family Father's Day tradition. Every year, my mother would spend the week or two before the holiday asking my sisters and I to dictate stories to her and collecting the crafts we made at school or in our Girl Scout troops. Then, she would lay out large sheets of white paper and squirt different color paints into old pie tins and have us dip our hands and feet in them. When we were little, we walked across the paper. As we got older, one foot was more than enough. Our hands were always the same: two little handprints side by side.

My mom collected these traditions every year in a big black art portfolio. And every Father's Day morning my sisters and I would pour into my parents' bedroom and my mother would fetch the portfolio and we would spend some time sitting around looking at its treasures. I'm sure there were other gifts, but that portfolio is all I remember. And then, sometime towards the end of my high school years, the tradition unraveled.

I'm not sure what started this process of degradation, exactly. Did Father's Day become just another Hallmark holiday to us? Was it something that we tolerated but didn't care about? Did we think it was un-cool to appreciate our father? Was it that we were old enough to write our own stories, but not yet great at time management? Was it that we never seemed to find the time to make our handprints and footprints? Or that our hands and feet had stopped growing? Was it that we'd long stopped making DAD crafts at school? Did it have anything to do with our family growing out of our home - going to college, studying abroad, moving out? It could have been any of those or a combination of all of them.

For a long time, that portfolio represented family to me. It held our history in a way that photograph albums, home videos, and reminiscing at the dinner table did not. And I suppose that until there are grandchildren running around, the portfolio will remain as dormant as it has been these past years. But just the other night, my family was all together under one roof and - for the first time in a long time - we took a picture.

Looking at this picture tonight, I am convinced that it wasn't the portfolio that represented family to me. It was the moments that made that portfolio possible.

Happy Father's Day to everyone out there making moments with their families - moments to look back on and smile about. It is those moments which I have learned to cherish. And a VERY special Happy Father's Day to my Dad, the coolest cat of them all, who I am never too hip to love and appreciate. You're still my hero!!

WHEW!

I feel like I have been on my feet for seven or eight days straight.

Last weekend, Fiance and I carpooled with my father and my sister for seven hours up to my family reunion. I have to admit that while I had been looking forward to the reunion, I was also nervous about meeting so many family members. A few years ago when my grandfather passed away, my family found out rather suddenly that there was a HUGE family that we didn't know. And this family reunion was for that side of the family, a group of people who seemed fairly well acquainted with one another without having the faintest idea who any of us were.

The morning of the reunion, the four of us had breakfast together before finishing the drive. While we waited for my father outside of the restaurant, Fiance and Sister and I saw a momma cat moving her kittens from one location to another. It looked like a long walk and ever since, Fiance and I have moments where we look at each other and remember how cute the kittens were. Then we look at Cat and wish the big fat monster he's become, the monster who whines whenever he is left alone for five minutes and who farts when he's laying next to my face at night, could have been a kitten just a little bit longer.

Immediately after the reunion, we all drove home. It was a very long weekend in that respect, considering that we drove fourteen hours in three days and only stopped to sleep and eat and meet strangers. The next day, Fiance and I woke up and drove to his Niece's third birthday party. And just when I was done sitting in a car, Sunday evening I drove to a nearby shopping center to have dinner with a friend. It was a long weekend and I think I am still sleeping it off.

Fiance, however, is not. In fact, right this very moment the man is making his marriage band. MAKING it. Out of titanium. With some machines in his buddy's garage. Which makes me realize that if I feel like I've been on my feet for seven or eight days, then he must feel like he's been on his feet for fifteen at this point. I'n sure he'll have plenty of stories to tell when he gets home.

A Time to Remember

With loss, there was darkness.

I have never been good at dealing with death. When my grandmother passed away, I remember leaving her home and sitting on her steps rocking back and forth sobbing uncontrollably. And when my grandfather passed away six months later, there were questions boiling beneath my skin and itching to escape. I have watched family and friends alike exit this life and it always hits me in a way that I could never describe, wherein my life appears to have overnight lost its every purpose. My faith is tested in a manner that grates at the core of me, and I'll find myself flipping through pages and pages of prayers looking for the light in a sea of darkness.

What I have always been good at, however, is stepping up to the plate.

Last week, a friend of mine experienced a loss of her own. Together, Fiance and I opened up our home to her and began to think about how we could accomodate her. Then, over the weekend we found out that one of Fiance's close relatives had passed away. I have been astounded by his ability to overcome this loss, to take everything in stride and to be such a strong man throughout this. As well, we were informed that one of my relatives had been checked into the hospital, and subsequently a rehabilitation center, after a fall.

It has been a difficult month for Fiance and I. We have been faced with losses, insecurity, and stress. Every time I begin to write something, whatever is going on gets in the way. We both expect everything to settle down within the next week, but in the meantime I just have to say that Fiance has been a hero through everything - especially considering his recent loss. He was excited about waking up early to surprise my mom for Mother's Day, and he has been looking forward to my family reunion this weekend almost as much as I have. He has been encouraging with regards to Jet's death - reminding me that people deal with grief in different ways - and strong with regards to his own. I am so proud of him and so thankful that our relationship has solid foundations, that we are able to go through these things together however distant either of us may be from time to time.

So when things come to halt around here, I'll write a little more. In the meantime, I am just using this post to record what is going on in my life. However difficult this month has been, it is a period in my life that I don't want to forget.